Bangkok After Hours - eBook

Bangkok After Hours - eBook
One Man's Wild Erotic Adventures in the Red Light Districts of Bangkok, Pattaya & Asia After Hours.

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Why Men Don't Want Girlfriends to be Like Porn Stars (According to a Woman's Magazine).. Lol...

Why Men Don’t Want Girlfriends Like Women In Adult Videos According to Madamenoire Magazine… Hmmmm… And my commentary on that is….
Real men don’t have the stamina to have sex for as long as and as frequently as male adult stars do! Come on; your guy sweats going up the stairs to your apartment. He can’t handle it if you raise the sex bar to adult star status. (Hey! This why they created Viagra ladies! Us guys like going that extra mile when we’ve got the juice to give us the boost!)
Real men also can’t pull off all of the moves adult stars do. If you try to have that type of sex with your partner, he’ll probably pull a muscle. (Maybe, but I’ll have a hell of a story to tell the guys later!).
As for looking like a woman in the porn videos, most men don’t want the stares, whispers and unsolicited photo-taking that come with dating a woman with huge breasts, tons of makeup, enormous hair and revealing clothing. (Are you kidding me? I want to see other guys drooling when I walk past them with a young, sexy big breasted girl with no bra on wearing a skin tight mini skirt!)
Do you have any idea how long an adult star’s beauty regiment is? Your partner doesn’t want to wait for you to blow dry, straighten then curl your hair and do full beauty-pageant makeup, just to go to lunch. (You’re right but call me once you have the beauty treatment and I’ll set up the camera and tripod for our own amateur porn video.)
Some of the things those adult video stars let male stars do to them just aren’t safe for civilians. Your partner doesn’t really want to use a melon on you in that way for fear of a hospital visit. (Seriously? I use a baseball bat as a sex toy with the ladies I’m damn sure not afraid of using a freaking melon!)
Men don’t like doing laundry any more than the rest of the world, so they don’t want your midnight blue eye shadow and caked-on foundation to leave a Rorschach masterpiece all over their sheets after sex. (Ha, ha, ha… Baby, I plan on making you squirt all over those sheets. I’m not worried about your makeup on the pillow case. I’m going to have to wash the sheets afterwards regardless!)
Adult video stars are usually either super submissive or super dominant. But your partner likes that your personality is a perfect harmony of both those traits—he doesn’t want you talking in a baby voice exclusively or yelling at him in bed exclusively. (????? I want you screaming “fuck me harder” baby and then bending over while I whip you with a bondage whip! If I wanted boring I’d call up my ex-wife!)
All you have to do is show up to get that porn star super turned on. But men don’t want things to come that easily—they know that isn’t realistic, and want to know they’ve actually impressed you. (Say what? We don’t want to have to work for it or romance the stone when we walk in the door! We want to see you waiting for us in some lace lingerie, immediately drop to your knee’s, unzip our pants, whip out our dicks and start sucking away! Really! It’s easy girls!)
If you revved up your sex drive to the level of adult video star, your partner wouldn’t even be able to keep up with you. While men like the idea of being super-sexual, most of them just want to cuddle and eat half the time. (Cuddle? Yeah, after we’ve smashed that thing good, long and hard! Then we’ll cuddle. As for eating? Spread those thighs baby we want to eat in tonight!)
The loud moans, the ecstatic screams, the enormous praise—they know you don’t really sound like that when you orgasm. If you start getting over-the-top with your orgasm sounds, your partner will think you’re just faking it. (Do we really care if you fake your orgasm or not? Not really girls! As long as we get ours!)
They don’t really want to defile your face. Do they? You make your partner breakfast in the morning; he looks at your loving, caring face, he doesn’t think, “I’d like to cover that with cum.” (Oh hell yes that’s what we’re thinking every time we see you smile!)
A lot of men aren’t interested in giving girls anal sex. While most adult stars can’t have a career without doing anal, and a lot of men watch anal scenes, most real men don’t really want to give you anal. Maybe they’d like to try it once or twice but they don’t want it on the menu as often as it is in adult movies. (Baby, I’ve got a wide assortment of butt plugs and silicone lube to break your ass in. Don’t worry you’ll be ready for some big cock in that back door in no time! Why? Because we like it tight and hot!)
Oral pressure. If you’re going to start giving as many blow jobs as porn stars do, then you just put pressure on your partner to go down on you a lot, too. And he isn’t quite up to that challenge. (What? Who said we wanted an even exchange rate? 10 blow jobs to every lick of your pussy seems more than reasonable! Now open wide!)
The outfits look silly in real life. Schoolgirl skirts that reveal half your ass and sexy nurse costumes are great for occasional role play, but if you wore those every time you had sex (like adult stars do), your partner would start to laugh. (Nope! I’ve got a whole suitcase packed with sexy schoolgirl outfits, string bikini’s and gstrings for girls to use on that stage in my hotel room in Angeles City! I have no intention to laugh about it but I’ll probably want to snap a few photo’s. Just saying).
You’ll ruin their favorite porn flicks. Your partner likes that the adult flicks he watches are separate from his real life. If you start trying to recreate it, then there will be no separation of fantasy and reality. (My real life is a porn star life. I keep it separate from the 9 to 5 just fine).


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