Bangkok After Hours - eBook

Bangkok After Hours - eBook
One Man's Wild Erotic Adventures in the Red Light Districts of Bangkok, Pattaya & Asia After Hours.

Friday, May 11, 2018

Carrots, Banana’s & Cucumbers as Bargirl Sex Toy’s…



Let’s say that you just arrived in Pattaya and you plan to hit one of the wilder gogo bars like XXX Club, Sugar Baby or Windmill to barfine a dancer that will be more than happy to use some sex toys to entertain you later that night. But then you realize to your disappointment that you forgot to pack your dildo’s and vibrators! Damn! What’s a barmonger to do in such an emergency situation like this?
Well, let me tell you what you’re going to do my friend! You’re going to grab the baht bus and have if drop you off at Mikes Shopping Mall and or Tops Market and head straight for the fresh foods section of the market!



1: Your first choice as a sex toy substitute will be the extra-large carrots. Being thick on one end the carrot makes for an excellent dildo and being slimmer on the other end the carrot makes for a good anal plug to get that bargirls back door loosened up for some ass slapping fun later.

2: Your second choice is a banana. With the curve of a banana you can use it as a dildo to really hit that bargirls g-spot to send her to orgasmic heaven. You can also peel the end of the banana that’s not currently inserted into that bargirl’s pussy and take a bite if you’re a perverted butterfly barmonger like I am. Besides, banana’s are healthy for you and are packed full of potassium.

3: Your third choice for a sex toy is one of those extra long seedless cucumbers. They’re thick but not as thick as your dick (well, it’s not as thick as my dick but I’m not so sure about yours). Being long and firm you can grab that bad boy by both hands and really jackhammer it between that bargirl’s legs. It can also be used as an anal dildo but it’s best use is as a double ended dildo for when you barfine 2 girls! You’ll get each bargirl to get on her hands and knees facing away from the other bargirl and then insert one end of the cucumber into each girl’s pussy and have them back their asses up to each other and start banging away. Personally, I always find this particular scenario more than entertaining.

However, I do have one bit of advice for you if you do decide to use condom covered fruit or vegetables as sex toys. Be sure to pick up and put away your substitute sex toys before the hotel maids clean your room the next day. I had forgotten once and was sitting at the table in my room as the maids cleaned. I looked over just in time to see the one maid stop dead in her tracks as she looked at the rather long cucumber, condom’s and lube on the night table by the bed. Then the maid bent over and picked up the fucking cucumber and just stared at it for what seemed like an eternity before sitting it back down. I was in total shock. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak and even if I could what would I say? “Yeah, I used that long cucumber as a double ended dildo on 2 bargirls last night?”

Eventually I stood up, reached for my wallet and handed the maid a 40 baht tip and then I slinked out of my room to head to the 7-Eleven. When I returned to my room the maids were gone but for the rest of that trip whenever any of the maids saw me they would smile big and then break out laughing. No doubt word had spread of my kinky vegetable use…


That’s Pattaya After Hours…

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